Passenger: Excuse me. How high is this plane?
Flight Attendant: About 30,000 feet.
Passenger: And how wide is it?
✧ ✧ ✧
The loudspeaker of the big jet clicked on and
the captain’s voice announced in a clear, even
tone: “Now there’s no cause for alarm but we
felt you should know that for the last three
hours we’ve been flying without the benefit of
radio, compass, radar, or navigational beam due
to the breakdown of certain key components.
This means that we are, in the broad sense of the
word, lost and not quite sure in which direction
we are heading. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know
however, that we’re making excellent time!”
✧ ✧ ✧
An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm
and was soon swaying and bumping in the sky.
One very nervous lady happened to be sitting
next to a clergyman and turned to him for comfort.
“Can’t you do something?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” said the reverend gently.
“I’m in sales, not management.”
✧ ✧ ✧
A man is now able to go across the United
States in eight hours . . . four hours for flying,
and the other four to get to the airport.
✧ ✧ ✧
The airline company was disturbed over a
high percentage of accidents and decided to
eliminate human errors by building a completely
“Ladies and gentlemen,” came a voice over a
loudspeaker on the plane’s maiden voyage, “it
may interest you to know that you are now traveling in the world’s first completely automated
plane. Now just sit back and relax because nothing can possibly go wrong . . . go wrong . . . go
wrong . . . go wrong . . .”
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