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Joke for the week(5-oct-2020)

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*Now if u dress well p3 they will call u slay queen…if u don’t they will call u a villager ohh Gh*🤣🤣🤣🤦🏽‍♀️

*💔Some guys will be shouting I can’t marry a woman that can’t cook….✌my guy do you even have money for foodstuffs😂😂😂*

*I love posting more than chatting because I don’t know what to discuss with somebody’s girlfriend*

😕😕😕😕

BREAKING NEWS!!

None of these guys has a nose and ears😀😬😁😂

I am the first to observe it 😂😂😂

*Wisdom wee not kill me*

IN HOLLYWOOD

Merlin will say just two words and a Fire-breathinq dragon will appear

IN NOLLYWOOD

Odunlade Fadeyi Olokooriki will recite a whole Book of incantations (366 pages) just to off Candle.

then he’ll finally tell you to bring the following

>8 virgin rats😩😩

>10 married ants😢😢

>7 pregnant mosquitoes😦

>2 Lesbian hens.😱😱….

To appease the gods 😂😂😂

Me in 2050 showing pictures to my grandkids Me: in 2020, we experienced crises around the world of a disease called corona virus. Grandkids: Grandpa did u help to bring solution to the crises?

Me: Yes I helped in making jokes on Facebook. I wonder what u will tell ur own grandkids🤔

ISSUES WITH MODERN LADIES :

—————————————————–

-You find a beautiful one, The brain is empty.

-You find a brilliant one, She looks too serious.

-You find an upgraded one, She’s always after human hair and flashy things.

-You find a rich one, She lack manners.

-You find a hard-working one, She is a career woman.

-You find a serious one, Her EX keeps calling.

-You find a humble one, She doesn’t look presentable

-You find a responsible one, She’s not romantic.

-You find an educated one, She feels she’s always right and speak English all the time

-You find an illiterate one, She always gets angry whenever you correct her.

-You find a devoted one, She reports you to her religious instructor each time you have issues.

This is a serious issue!

Our mothers no be like dem ooo!

Oh Modern girl’s…😝 Hmmmmm…

😁😂😂😂😂

Imaging dating a girl that won’t disturb you for monthly sub.

A girl that will be loyal to you.

A girl that will ask you if you have eaten so she can cook for you.

A girl that will surprise you on your birthday with T-shirt(not singlet & handkerchief “as if u are a cultural dancer”).

A girl that will pay your bills once in a while and still send you some stuffs.

A girl that value her virginity, the one that will argue with you and still wait patiently for you to apologize.

The one that will make you jealous by replying your text late.

And said she is replying another guys.

A girl that have full trust in you and manage with you…………. …………. …………. Does Girls Like This Still Exist??🤔

English vs Pigin

Eng- are u videoing it?

Pigin- u davido am?

Eng- olamide is bad

Pigin- olamide badoo

Eng- he might know

Pigin- he phyno

Eng- I though she is a girl buh he’s a boy! Pigin- I think sey na girl,BurnaBoy

Eng- how did u know?

Pigin- how u tekno? 😂🤣

😁😁😁😁

My sister, your sugar daddy is someone else’s husband.🤗

 

You gave him flowers , he packaged it and gave it to his wife,

 

😁 his wife packaged it and gave it to her sugarboy.

 

😂Her sugarboy is your boyfriend,

 

Your boyfriend finally gave it back to you.

 

Now you are holding the flower you bought by yourself and saying…

 

“This looks familiar”😂😂

 

In Physics, it’s called “Circular motion”😆

 

In Philosophy, it’s called “Karma”

 

In Chemistry, it’s called “Chain reaction”😁

 

In Psychology it’s called “Familiar spirit”😜

 

In Computer, it’s called “Looping”😁

 

In life, it’s called “what’s goes around comes around”😎

 

And in Church, it’s called *”Back to sender”*🏃😄

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Entertainment

Let laugh:- joke for the day

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Jokes

Joke:- Army and Police

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Officer: That’s no way to address an officer.

Now, let’s try that again. Soldier, do you have

change for a dollar?

Soldier: No, sir!

✧ ✧ ✧

An Army base staff that was planning war

games didn’t want to use live ammunition.

Instead they informed the soldiers: “In place of a

rifle, you go, ‘Bang, bang.’ In place of a knife,

you go, ‘Stab, stab.’ In place of a hand grenade,

you go, ‘Lob, lob.’”

The game was in progress when one of the

soldiers saw one of the enemy. He said, “Bang,

bang,” but nothing happened. He ran forward

and shouted, “Stab, stab,” but nothing

happened. He ran back and went, “Lob, lob,”

but nothing happened. Finally he walked up to

the enemy and said, “You’re not playing fair. I

went ‘Bang, bang’ and ‘Stab, stab’ and ‘Lob, lob’

and you haven’t fallen dead yet!”

The enemy responded, “Rumble, rumble, I’m

a tank.”

✧ ✧ ✧

A very new soldier was on sentry duty at the

main gate of a military outpost. His orders were

clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special

sticker on the windshield. A big Army car drove

up with a general seated in the back.

The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”

The chauffeur, a corporal, said, “General

Wheeler.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve

got to have a sticker on the windshield.”

The general said, “Drive on.”

The sentry said, “Hold it. You really can’t

come through. I have orders to shoot if you try

driving in without a sticker.”

The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son,

drive on.”

The sentry walked up to the rear window

and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do I shoot

you or the driver?”

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Jokes:-Airplanes

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Passenger: Excuse me. How high is this plane?

Flight Attendant: About 30,000 feet.

Passenger: And how wide is it?

✧ ✧ ✧

The loudspeaker of the big jet clicked on and

the captain’s voice announced in a clear, even

tone: “Now there’s no cause for alarm but we

felt you should know that for the last three

hours we’ve been flying without the benefit of

radio, compass, radar, or navigational beam due

to the breakdown of certain key components.

This means that we are, in the broad sense of the

word, lost and not quite sure in which direction

we are heading. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know

however, that we’re making excellent time!”

✧ ✧ ✧

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm

and was soon swaying and bumping in the sky.

One very nervous lady happened to be sitting

next to a clergyman and turned to him for com￾fort.

“Can’t you do something?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” said the reverend gently.

“I’m in sales, not management.”

✧ ✧ ✧

A man is now able to go across the United

States in eight hours . . . four hours for flying,

and the other four to get to the airport.

✧ ✧ ✧

The airline company was disturbed over a

high percentage of accidents and decided to

eliminate human errors by building a completely

mechanical plane.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” came a voice over a

loudspeaker on the plane’s maiden voyage, “it

may interest you to know that you are now trav￾eling in the world’s first completely automated

plane. Now just sit back and relax because noth￾ing can possibly go wrong . . . go wrong . . . go

wrong . . . go wrong . . .”

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