Joke:- Army and Police

Officer: That’s no way to address an officer.

Now, let’s try that again. Soldier, do you have

change for a dollar?

Soldier: No, sir!

✧ ✧ ✧

An Army base staff that was planning war

games didn’t want to use live ammunition.

Instead they informed the soldiers: “In place of a

rifle, you go, ‘Bang, bang.’ In place of a knife,

you go, ‘Stab, stab.’ In place of a hand grenade,

you go, ‘Lob, lob.’”

The game was in progress when one of the

soldiers saw one of the enemy. He said, “Bang,

bang,” but nothing happened. He ran forward

and shouted, “Stab, stab,” but nothing

happened. He ran back and went, “Lob, lob,”

but nothing happened. Finally he walked up to

the enemy and said, “You’re not playing fair. I

went ‘Bang, bang’ and ‘Stab, stab’ and ‘Lob, lob’

and you haven’t fallen dead yet!”

The enemy responded, “Rumble, rumble, I’m

a tank.”

✧ ✧ ✧

A very new soldier was on sentry duty at the

main gate of a military outpost. His orders were

clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special

sticker on the windshield. A big Army car drove

up with a general seated in the back.

The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”

The chauffeur, a corporal, said, “General

Wheeler.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve

got to have a sticker on the windshield.”

The general said, “Drive on.”

The sentry said, “Hold it. You really can’t

come through. I have orders to shoot if you try

driving in without a sticker.”

The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son,

drive on.”

The sentry walked up to the rear window

and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do I shoot

you or the driver?”

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